Reading – Further recommendations
Depending on the cultures, indirect or direct speech may be used more often. Here we look at the difference between the two and how it can be misunderstood, especially in a professional telephone call where you can’t see the emotions of the other person.
Speaking in an indirect manner is a more polite way of speaking and is used often by the British, Japanese, Chinese, Indians or Saudi Arabians, for example. It leaves for a more open understanding of what you are trying to say and is the opposite of speaking in a direct way. This way of speaking is more polite but some people might find it confusing or unclear.
Some examples of speaking indirectly might be:
Would it be possible for you to arrange for…
Could you perhaps show me…
Could you tell me …
Should we perhaps try to do …
I suggest that we …
Do you know if we are meeting soon?
I’m not sure if that will be possible.
That might be difficult to do.
Speaking in a direct way, where you say exactly what you mean and feel, is often used by the Americans and Germans as they value efficiency in communication. It is clear, straightforward and there can be little misunderstanding of what is meant, but can often come across as rude and aggressive, especially by those cultures that use an indirect way of communicating.
I have transformed the indirect phrases above to show you some examples of speaking directly:
Please arrange for…
Please show me….
Tell me..
We should do…
When are we meeting?
That’s not possible.
It can’t be done.
As misunderstandings, and even conflict, can happen if we do not learn how to modify our style a little if we are speaking with a person who is using a different way of speaking, here are a few tips to help you have a more positive relationship on the phone.
Tips for direct people when speaking to indirect people
- Soften your statements and go into topics gradually by making small talk in the beginning.
- Learn to “listen between the lines.” If you are not sure, ask for further clarification using the language you learnt here.
- Avoid outright demands for answers, such as “Why?” “Why not?” “When can you have this?” “Are you on board with this or not?”
Instead say
“Could you give us a little background on that? Can you tell us a bit about your thinking/position on that? How do you see this playing out?” - Be patient if you don’t get your answers on the spot. Simply express that you would like to hear more from them on that issue and let them get back to you. If they don’t get back to you, remind them gently in a friendly phone call.
Tips for indirect people when speaking to direct people
- Be aware that direct people are far more reassured to hear absolutely sincere answers.
- Hearing very specific questions or requests for clarification from direct people is not a sign of aggression on their part.
- They may worry that you are misleading them or have insincere intentions with your indirect way of speaking.
- It’s good to be polite, but make sure your business partner understands what you are saying.
- If you cannot give immediate replies to their worries or problems, tell them that you will answer them as soon as possible.
- It is very helpful if you can give a time frame for your answer.